Thursday, August 16, 2012

Chapter 1/ broken hearted

„Minal?...Minal! Stop day dreaming now, we have to get going. Its only 1 week until we move to the new flat and you know i wont have time to help you packing the next days, so come on!"
Greta looked at Minal with a worried expression on her face. Her daughters 18th birthday was just a few days ahead and since some time Minal seemed to be constantly sad and in bad mood. For all Minal told her it was because Minal finished high school and didn‘t really know what to do next. But Greta knew better than to just listen to Minal´s explanations, there was another reason, and its name was Erick. Minal´s long-term boyfriend, who Greta never like very much. She though of him as an arrogant and not very smart boy, but Minal was young and in Love so it was useless to tell Minal her opinion. Sooner or later, Greta was hoping that sooner or later they would break up and Minal would find a boy worth her time and affection.
But for now she had to get her daughter to stop looking out of the window and thinking about whatever and start to help her packing things. After all they had only 1 week left to pack everything so they could move to another flat.
Greta felt sad about leaving this flat which carried so many memories. memories that took place even before the birth of her precious daughter, at a time when Minal´s father was still with her and the happiest time of her life was taking place. But that is long ago she had top remind herself and its useless to think of these kind of things. The flat they would move to was much better situated and even cheaper.
Minal closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “Time to work and forget about him for a while” she told herself. She turned around and took a look at her mother who was currently packing some chandeliers in newspaper so they wouldn’t break on the way to their new flat.
“The new Flat” was quiete a term Minal didn’t like, she didn’t like at all to move away. She spend her whole life in this flat and even though she couldn’t remember him, she knew this was the place where she spend the first few months of her life with both her parents. That was before he left and before her mother decided to delete him from their life for good.
Of course Minal has tried several times in her life to get some information about her father, but her mother would just tell her that he left because his family wouldn’t accept them and that it hurt too much to talk about him. Since Minal didn’t wanted her mother to be hurt she always had dropped the topic.
When Minal grew older her longing to know about her father had grown more and more and she was tempted to find him but than again there was her mother, and she couldn’t do that to her.
Two years ago she finally confined in her mother and told her she wanted to get to know him at any coasts, but her mother put her off and told her she would tell her after her 18th birthday.
Now it was only 10 days left until her birthday and the thoughts of her father wouldn’t leave her mind at any time.
Minal knew her mother thought she was in this melancholic mood because of the fight with her boyfriend Erick but that was just half the truth. In reality she was thinking what she would do once she would know the whole truth about her father.
How would he be? Would she get to know him? Where was he from?
The only thing her mother would tell her was that her father was living far away and that his name was Hamed.
After she got to know his name, she of course researched it on the Internet but wasn’t able to get much information about it.
It was an Arabic name used mostly in the middle east and in turkey and it meant praiseworthy.
Her mother also told her that she and her father had chosen her name together as they had decided that she should have an Arabic name too in honor of Hamed´s culture and religion.
The meaning of her name was Gift or achievement and it was the name of her fathers grandmother who was the only person in his family who had supported Hamed in his decision to marry Greta.

With a sigh Minal took some books and tossed them in one of the empty paper boxes.
She was in no mood to look through all of her stuff before packing it so she started to simply put all the things she wouldn’t need the next week in the boxes they had prepared.
After two hours of packing Minal´s phone rand and the caller id showed it was Erick.
While catching her mobile from her desk she was wondering how this conversation would go. Would he even tell her he missed her like he used to. Or would he act as distanced and careless like he did the last few weeks.
She was hoping for a wonder, that Erick would be the same as he had been when they first met and when their love was still exciting and strong.
M: Hey Erick
E: Hi babe, what are you doing?
M: Just packing my stuff for the move, n you?
E: I just came home from training, do you want to meet up later?
M: Sure, lets meet a Fresco´s.
E: Alright I´ll be there at 7pm,ok?
M: Ok, se you than..
E: See you
M: Bye

“Whatever happened to us” Minal though while closing her phone.
Again Erick had talked to her like a friend not like a lover. They had been together for 1 year now and their relationship never lacked passion. It just recently started that there would be no more “I love you” “I miss you” or “ Cant wait to see you again” when they were talking on the phone.
Minal knew it was partly her fault that Erick started to distance himself from her. After all she refused to sleep with him even after 1 year, but she simply didn’t wanted to do this without at least being engaged, if not married. Erick of course didn’t share her view on this point and regularly tried to go further than just kissing though he always gave up and never pushed her when she said no, a point for which she was very grateful to him.
Still she knew she couldn’t go on like this forever and if he wasn’t interested to get serious and show that he want to spend his life with her their relationship would break.
At this point they acted more like friends than as if they were in love and Minal wished she were able to change the path they were taking which lead to separation.
She still had a lot of feelings for him and he was her first real love after all. Minal was ready to fight for him, but she wasn’t ready to give up her morals and like this she wasn’t sure if her fight would be enough to keep them together.

“Mom, I´m going to meet Erick in two hours, when should I be back home?” Minal asked her mother while walking toward the kitchen.
“ You don’t have school tomorrow so just be back before 1am sweety” Greta replied.
“ Alright, I´ll make us some pasta before I go so you don’t need to cook”
“Thanks Minal, I could really use something to eat after all this packing, I cant see an end to this task” Greta sighed while grabbing another pile of files to put pack them.

While cooking Spaghetti bolognaise, Minal´s thoughts again went to her mysterious father. Does he have more children? Minal was asking herself. Maybe she had some half siblings without even knowing it! But what was the use of thinking about what could be when eventually she would find out in just a few days time. Her mother might have forgotten about her promise to tell Minal after her 18th birthday, but Minal definitely didn’t and she would find out about her father, one way or another.
She was smiling thinking these thoughts as she was happy to finally get the answers she has been longing for since many years.
But now, she decided, she would think of ways to get her relationship back the way it was and she already had an idea how to achieve that.

2 hours later Minal was on her way to Fresco´s, Erick and her favorite coffee shop in all of London. It wasn’t like one of the fancy and expensive shops were tons of people sat and where you hardly ever found a free place. Fresco´s was a small café which was mostly visited by regulars like Minal and Erick. They had met here for the first time and than had their first date here, since than they used to meet here regular whether to study or just to spend some time together without their friends.
Sadness overcame Minal as she looked at the café from outside, thinking that if she and Erick were to break up she would never be able to come to this place again. It would be too depressing to come here alone with all those memories of her and Erick.

Minal stooped for a second to check her vibrating mobile. It was text from Erick saying he wont be able to make it as something had come up.
Angrily Minal turned around to go back home. Sitting in a café on her own wasn’t something she liked to do. Why couldn’t he write her earlier so she wouldn’t have come here. While walking in the direction of her house Minal decided to call one of her friends. She wasn’t ready to go home and tell her mother what Erick had done while her mother already didn’t like Erick. So she decided to call Anisa, a girls she didn’t knew for too long but who already had become one of her best and closest friends. Anisa was Egyptian and they met when Minal went to a mosque to find out some more about the religion of her father.
She was the first girl to walk up to Minal and ask he if she could help her, from than on she answered any question Minal had and she tought her a lot about her fathers religion.
M: Hey Nisa, do you have some time?
A: Sure, I’m free what are u up to?
M: I was meeting Erick but he canceled in the last second so I was hoping we could spend some time?
A: Ahh.. So I’m just your replacement ha?
Anisa was laughing which relived Minal who thought she had offended her friend. She always thought Muslims were somewhat serious and couldn’t understand a little joke, but she knew that wasn’t the case with Anisa at least.
M: Come on Nisa, I’m in desperate need of a friend!
A: Alright, just tell me when and where?
M: In 30 min at the mosque, ok?
A: Ok, ill be there. See ya, Habibti.
M: See ya, Nis.

Minal closed the call and started to go through the pictures on her mobile while walking towards the mosque which was only a few minutes away from her.
Most of the pictures were her and Erick, kissing, cuddling or just posing.
How long has it been that they were just having fun together, she asked herself.
She missed Erick, the old Erick, the one she had fallen in love with.
Not the one who would ignore her for days and than cancel their dates in the last second. Sadness overwhelmed her and Minal struggled to keep the tears from falling.
When she finally reached the Mosque she was crying, though trying to hide it was obvious for anyone who would look at her.
As she entered the mosque a woman stepped towards her calling her name.
J: Minal! What happened to you? Are you ok sweetie?
Minal looked up and saw Jannah, a older lady who spend a lot of time in the mosque, teaching Quran , Arabic and giving other lectures in English.
She had attained a few of those lectures and had build a bond of friendship with Jannah, despite the age difference she felt like she could trust her and they treated each other just like family members.

M: I´m ok Jannah, I just had a little problem with my boyfriend.
J : Oh that doesn’t sound good, do you want to tell me what happened? We can sit down in Hilal and drink some Tea.
M: That sounds great but I have an appointment with Nisa in 20 minutes.
J: 20 minutes are enough time to have a little talk.
Jannah smiled her bright smile and Minal couldn’t help but to smile also. Jannah always had this effect on her. She seemed to radiate calmness and peace at any time they met.
M: Ok lets go, I can really need a tea now, its freezing outside.

While they both walked towards the little Turkish restaurant that was just beside the Mosque, Jannah told her about he newest courses she would give in the mosque. Once they had set down and ordered some real Turkish tea Jannah looked expectantly at Minal as she waited for her to start telling her what happened with Erick.
“I don’t know what to do Jannah, I still love him but everything between us has changed and I don’t know haw to get it back like before” Minal told Jannah while looking at the table.
“You know darling I don’t want to make you feel worse, but when a man stops paying you attention than there is mostly a reason to it, Whether it is a another woman, or the fact that he simply lost interest. You should stay away from him, and tell him that you wont go on like this. If he comes back and changes than he loves you, otherwise..”

Minal sighed, knowing that she had tried this and Erick wouldn’t bother to run after her. They had broken up once but than she missed him soo much that she had called him again and when the met again they reunited. Still Erick didn’t change after this and it all just became worse.
“I have tried that Jannah, but after that it got worse and now he acts more like we are friends only, but I miss the old him”
Minal was once more close to cry, but as they were sitting in a restaurant full of people she closed her eyes to hold the tears back.
“Its time to let go Minal, he isn’t the right one for you! If he was, he would act different and he would definitely treat you different! As much as it will hurt you to let him go, you will get over it and one day you will find the one that is right for you and who will make you happy every day.”
Jannah was smiling while she said this, she knew just too well how things could go after a heartbreak. She herself had once been in Minal´s Position and after a bad break up she had meet her husband Bilal.
The love of her Life who not only brought her to Islam by teaching her about it day by day, but who also had filled her life with happiness and joy.
After this heart to heart conversation they drank their Tea in silence, each of them thinking of a man that had stolen their hearts.
One of them happy and one of them heart broken.

Jannah was the first one to break the silence again.
J: “Its time to get back to the mosque, Anisa will be waiting for you and I have to prepare for the Arabic lesson. It will be at 8pm, you can come and join us if you want.”
Minal smiled a genuine smile and thanked Jannah for her kindness by giving her hug.
M: “You know Jannah, You made me feel better and I am so happy to know you”
J: “Thanks Minal, I’m happy if I can help and you know you can always come to me if you need to talk or if you need any help”.
Minal gave Jannah another hug before they made their way back to the mosque.

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